Why the long face?

It seems that everyone (and by everyone I mean a few, but they are cherished friends of close age and station) is a little emotionally lost. No one knows what they want or what to do or how to live or who they want to be. We barely know who we are. We are frustrated by personal failure... not even that, just personal imperfection, the less than the best feeling. We see ourselves grasping to reach our great potential, but confusedly fall short. I am saying we because I consider myself to be part of this group to which I am referring. The young and able in the time of opportunity. But instead of striding off in a purposeful direction to embrace life and find our fortunes we shrink back, afraid. Afraid that it might not be there. Afraid that we might see it but let it slip through bumbling fingers. Afraid to start and realize too late that we should have gone the other direction. Afraid that we will reach the end and find that it really all just meant nothing, that we went through everything to realize that we made no difference. We are the generation that is supposed to heal the world right. But most people my age are so confused and sad that we can't even consider taking the next step. And we blame ourselves. We understand that we should be happy and understand everything that's going on. We should be strong enough to carry the world in a new and better direction. But instead we dread getting out of bed in the morning because the world will be disappointed by our sorry efforts.

I was told that high school was supposed to be the hardest part of life with everyone confused and frustrated. High school was nothing compared to this. We are one the brink of stepping finally into the "real" world. Work, Family, etc. We're not acting ready. I'm not.

I say we.

I am part of these dearest of people. But I am not sad. I am thrilled to be back in Greeley and on campus. I feel empowered here. I feel like the small opportunity that UNC provides me is enough for me to grow and learn for the moment. And it's comfortable. And my friends are here. And the weather, crisp and chilly, is so beautiful. I've decided to be happy and enthusiastic. I feel like a nicer person! I say hello and listen to people and tell them when I appreciate something about them. But I am also frustrated by not knowing what to do. I am dreading, painfully, this time next year when everyone will be booking their plane tickets to different parts of the world and we will end up Christmas card friends. And I have no direction. But I bless my options. I know it will work out. And in the mean time the world is a beautiful place. These sad people make my life so fulfilled and happy. I wish they could see it through my eyes and realize how wonderful they are. How they have already made the world a better place. Wherever we end up, I will always love them. They have already made a positive difference in the world, especially mine. I would do anything to make any one of you happy. I hope you wake up to a brighter sunrise tomorrow. I don't know what else to do.