I went and worked out this morning. It makes me feel like a worth-while human being. I don't know why. My fitness doesn't really do anything for anyone else. or does it. My able body keeps me happy (and adds to the general human happiness) and able to do things for others. It's obviously not the only way to be a worth-while person but it works for me. I need to work on feeling worth-while just for being me.
I talked to Monte about getting a M.A. in choreography. He was kindof encouraging. He said most places don't accept you to the program unless you have work/teaching/choreography/ or performance experience. He worked for 2 years before going to grad school. I'm not opposed to that. I just need to find a place where I can see myself working. I can't really see myself teaching technique in a studio. There are things like dance therapy and such. I don't know what's required for that.
I have another interview with Swift next week. I hope they employ me soon! They sound like a fun company to work for and I think it'll do good things for my self-esteem.
I also talked to Monte about my thesis idea of spontaneous public dance events like improveverywhere.com. He looked excited for me to bring the subversive back into the UNC PVA community. I am also excited. I went right home and researched and started a facebook group and invited people. After 2 days I have over 40 members. now if I can just get them to come to rehearsal!
I stopped in at the Philosophy office this morning to talk to someone about completing my philosophy degree in one year. He said it was possible and that they would be willing to help me out. Nice people, philosophers. :D
I talked to a career counselor last Friday about my confused life. She asked me what I would do if I only had one day left on earth. I told her I would watch the sun rise, eat a big breakfast, go hiking, listen to my favorite music, dance all day, watch the sun set, and have a huge party. All with my favorite people. She suggested that since I am so passionate about dance that I might at least try to pursue it instead of living the rest of my life with that big what if. Sigh. But what if I fail. What if I get jaded on dance and don't like it any more. :( The thought makes me want to cry. But I've also thought about what I would do if something happened to me and I couldn't dance any more. I don't think the state of my body would suffice to define me as alive. So I'll do it. I can't not.
My birthday was amazing!
2 comments:
HI SWEET! Yes, health is such an important benefit for you and all of human-kind; just think what a drain on society if one isn't healthy! Not only can't you be productive, its hard to help others too, don't you think?? Yeah, we can't really make decisions based on "what if I change" can we. Do it now; we can always do something else later - and certainly will. LOVE YOU!
DANCE SISTER DANCE...
dance until your legs fall off and then i will pick you up and put you in a fancy chariot and buy you a little pony to pull you around wherever you go. i will then learn to walk on stilts and juggle and we can go and join the circus together. it will be fun, i swear.i'm so glad to hear your party went well and i hope you got the message i left on spencer's phone. I LOVE YOU!
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